Teh Sweggurboi/Favorite Characters Rankings
This isn't a list of characters which I think are the best, instead this list shows you which are my favorite characters. I like some of them because of their power shots, some of them because I think they look cool, some of them because they look like the country they resemble and I like that, and some of them for another reason. The heading with the number shows you how much I like every character underneath it, from a scale from 1 to 10, and the descriptions provide further information. 6''' 65) Honduras = I really do not care for him. If it's a him, I mean. 64) Ukraine = I wanted Ukraine to be a rough gangster type, and it was a huge let-down when I saw that Ukraine was a nerdy girl with glasses. "But... I don't want any girls in Head Soccer, and especially not for a cool country like Ukraine!", was my first reaction. I got disappointed a second time when I recently played a Death Mode with her. Ukraine's power button effect doesn't help at all in stopping power shots, the ball even goes right through her sometimes, her ground shot is a 75% goal, but the remaining 25% it gets blocked and just rolls through your body into your goal, use her air shot three times in the same position and it will have three different outcomes, and her counter attack does not create a chance or anything and is nothing special at all. I don't get it with you, Ukraine... 63) Czech Republic = I quite like playing against him and his ground shot, but he gives little kids nightmares. Not cool Czech! 62) Z = I think it's very good that there is a zombie in Head Soccer. Why don't I like Z then? I don't know, but his power shots are just meh. When Z's zombie is in play, you can't see half the field. This is disturbing, because mostly that is the half of the field where the ball is. But I still like him enough to want him in the game, it's not that he should be erased or something. I'll end with this statement: Z is okay! Hence the 6 I gave him. '''6.5 61) Bulgaria = Bulgaria hits his opponent up in the atmosphere, then jumps into space himself, for some reason time stops for a while (has he broken the space-time continuum?), then he smashes his opponent down again, into the ground, and lands down himself to score. Yes, that is a way to create a chance, but you could also just beat your opponent up in the sky and stay there with the ball to kick it in the goal! But that's just a wild thought, maybe it's too simple. On the other hand, maybe it's a good thing that Bulgaria flies us to the stars and back and has the ability to stop time, because what else is there to remember him for? (Other than the fact that he sounds like those creatures from Rabbids Invasion, anyone noticed that too?) 60) Hungary = He and his shots might look cool, but I think he is very very bad when you play with him. Not a single shot of Hungary is good when you play against CPUs. They cause more own goals than any other shots in the game, and I'm the best with Hungary if I don't use his power shots at all... That can't be the purpose, but it is reality. Something else that is reality, is that Hungary is just four places away from last place. 59) Croatia = He is better than most people think, but I just don't really like him. It's fun to watch him fail in his own stage. 58) Mon-K = I don't like characters you have to pay real money for. It is the worst possible unlock requirement, so that already gave Mon-K a disadvantage. 57) China = I like monkeys. In the absence of Pokémon in this world, monkeys are my favorite creatures on Earth. Still, D&D Dream were able to create one that I don't really like; well done D&D Dream, that is quite an accomplishment, believe me. His power shots are also very simple, the Buddha that's included in his second shot is only nice. But I can't help it: Every time I look at China I think: You can do better than this, D&D Dream. Come on, a Chinese character, how hard is it to think of something good for that?! Hard, apparently. You have created a monkey with straight-forward power shots as if you were running out of ideas. 56) Argentina = He looks so bored of himself. 55) Singapore = Shurikens are a Japanese thing, goddammit! 54) New Zealand = The tattoos cover his hideous face, which is a good thing. 53) Pluto = Just like Belgium, Pluto doesn't really look like a Head Soccer character to me. They both seem to be different from the others... too real. 52) Belgium = Belgium, a rockstar? That was not my impression. I had to think of a medieval figure you know, a jester, entertaining the nobleman and his guests with music, storytelling and juggling. But then I saw his power shot, and realised, he is a rockstar! But not one I would go to a concert of. 7''' ?) Senegal = After watching Sharknado, I can't take sharks seriously anymore. 51) Super Saiyan 50) PumpKill = Something that I noticed immediately and found remarkable, or actually disturbing is the better word, is that PumpKill looks different in matches than in the player select screen. In the Select screen he looks like a cruel creature that likes to celebrate Halloween whole year round, on the field he looks much more cuddlesome, with his mouth and eyes lighting up every few seconds. However, when he activates his power button, the aforementioned cuteness vanishes and the beast inside of him awakens after all... In some ways he reminds me of my character idea Hell, but I don't think PumpKill's power shots come close to Hell's when it comes down to coolness (Warning: Shameless self promotion!). 49) South Africa = I want to know who his hairdresser is. 48) Canada = He gets me in a December mood anytime. 47) Turkey = First things first: Turkey has the funniest voice in Head Soccer. But who the hell has dotted eyebrows? That's right, Turkey the hipster. 46) Hong Kong = His actual strength lies not in his power shots, but in his power button effect. It is such a great feeling to devastate your opponent completely with your nunchucks and simply score a goal out of it without receiving a red card or an imprisonment sentence. 45) Serbia '''7.5 44) India = Let's all take a moment to laugh at his ground shot. Hahahahaha. 43) Australia 42) Asura = In order to play him, you've gotta pay points! Calm down Asura, you shouldn't feel so special. 41) Israel = He is so ugly that he makes me feel better about my own appearance. 40) Georgia 39) Denmark 38) Uruguay 37) Romania = What were they smoking when they made Romania? Power shots are about scoring, and that's exactly what D&D Dream forgot when they created him. I mean, the biggest challenge in Head Soccer is scoring out of the after effect of Romania's air shot, right? You just don't get enough time to even come close to the ball before your opponent is back. When you activate it, you already know that there's only a 10% chance of scoring, and a 100% chance that it will waste your time. For those reasons, Romania used to be the character that I liked to hate, but weird enough that made me like him more, and that resulted in Romania leaving the last places of this ranking. Strange, isn't it? All in all Romania is an interesting character. 36) Egypt = I want that headcloth. Perfect for a bad hair day. 35) Austria 34) Ireland 33) South Korea = How is it possible to hate this guy? We all played our first matches with him back then when we were noobs, and we all grew attached to him for that reason, even though we have much better characters now. Not that his power shot is the worst in the game; it is good enough for beginners to still score every now and then, and that makes him suitable as a default character, more than for example Colombia or Japan. 32) USA = I'm just happy I'm not from the USA. However, it's awesome how he can pass defenders in front of the goal. 31) Thailand 30) Cameroon = Need a goal? Just wait for him to do his power shot and block it... Tada! 29) Nigeria = After watching Sharknado, I can't take tornadoes seriously anymore. 28) Poland = He looks like the kind of gangster that sings at a karaoke bar in the evenings. 27) Japan = His mouth is so big, he could eat a sushi bar in one bite. 26) Portugal = That's right Portugal... Stay there, hanging on the ceiling, while you give the ball to me... Good boy! 25) Indonesia = John Cena: "You can't see me!" 24) Saudi Arabia 8''' 23) Nepal = He looks cool. Really cool. The robot adds a whole new aspect to the character: It is something that no other character has and it makes him like the Manuel Neuer of Head Soccer, a real pain to pass. The slowness of his power shots is something that adds up to this beast of a defender as well, but it is bloody hell annoying... You can make yourself a nice cup of tea, read a novel, climb the Mount Everest (twice) and by that time Nepal still has to get in his robot! I also want to say something about his counter attack. It is the most mysterious mystery ever: When you use it on the right it doesn't even hurt a fly, while on the left it seems like it could have caused the extinction of the dinosaurs as it destroys everything in its way and tears the world in two... Can anyone please explain this to me? Thank you. 22) Brazil = There’s vomit on his shirt already. Knees weak, hair spaghetti. 21) Valentine = I don't know what it is that makes me hungry about this guy. Maybe it's the PILE OF CHOCOLATE BARS, SWEETS AND LOLLIPOPS that comes out of his HEAD?! 20) Finland = When Czech Republic was added, it raised a question: Can the characters get any uglier? And then, Finland came. It's illogical to me that Finland transforms into a pig; aren't the pigs the ones that get shot? Anyway, D&D Dream did well on making an Angry Birds character with good power shots, even if I'm slightly disappointed that they have elected Finland for this singular role, because I was hoping for a snow/lakes/Santa/and so on-themed character. 19) Chile = He reminds me of Leicester City after sacking their success coach Claudio Ranieri. 18) Luxembourg 17) Mexico '''8.5 16) Colombia = His "thug life drug addict" look is something I always appreciated about Colombia. I know that many people don't like him at all, probably because of his power shot, but I do like him. And what if I told you that Colombia's power shot isn't as bad as it seems? People will call me crazy, but think about it. His power shot would be good if only one thing is changed: That he stays on the field when he does his power shot, or that he comes back on the field right after the crowd is gone. Then you can't walk the ball back into Colombia's goal, but instead, Colombia picks up the ball and walks it into your goal! I don't understand why Colombia has to disappear from the field, because it makes his shot so ridiculously useless. Something for D&D Dream to ponder. 15) WatermelBot = Am I the only one who constantly feels an urge to laugh just looking at his face? He looks even more comical with his mouth shut, and I like the fruity guy a lot for that. Even so much that I gave him the nickname Funny Faced Fruit Friend. 14) Italy = They got some delicious food there in Italy, but this character seems like he attends restaurants on a daily basis. I think he should look more like Graziano Pellè and less like an obese Teletubbie. His power shot is one of the most interesting though. 13) Cyborg 9 12) United Kingdom = One match against him is a lifelong in a wheelchair. 11) France = Although this power shot is genius, I hate moles. You either stay underground or you don't get your face stuck in the sand. Hear that, moles? My front yard is a mess! 10) Ecuador = I always felt like he was the boss of Head Soccer in terms of OP-ness, with India vice president. 9) Switzerland = He has such a positive vibe around him. 10-0 behind? Doesn't matter to Switzerland, he keeps smiling! Besides, his ground shot is a personal favorite. 8) Greece = The way he says "SPARRRTA!" has always intrigued me, phenomenal! It reminds me of the phrase "This is Sparta!" from the film “300” every time. Although I was initially hoping for a power shot that includes the Trojan Horse, I think it's very cool that he has so much to do with his country: his appearance, his power shots, his helmet and cape... everything! He deserves to be so high up here. 7) Sweden = I like Sweden pretty much and I think the Viking Boat Shot fits him perfectly, as well as his appearance. If JingRingFluffBall had a Head Soccer character, he would look like this. 6) Devil = The only bad thing I can think of to say about him is that I don't like his unlock requirement. In order to play with him, you must pay real money. But let's look at the bright side now. He is the perfect antihero in Head Soccer. When he activates his power button effect, he makes some frightening noises and transforms into a purple bat. When he is a bat, he can move extremely fast across the field and he jumps so high that he seems to fly! Devil keeps on attacking and he won't leave you a chance to catch your breath, and that is what I like so much about him; he is chaotic and terrifying, a good villain with a very nice power shot as well. 5) Kepler 22B = This alien has always been one of my favorite characters, and he would have been even better if he had all power shots in the game. This was the case in the first version of Head Soccer and I hoped that every update Kepler 22B would gain more power shots, but unfortunately that didn't come true. For me, he still is the ideal boss character, even after all those updates. 4) Russia = My favorite mustached potato. Russia's birthmark is like a map. See how Turkey is on the far right, and Crimea is next to it. The rest is USSR. '9.5 ' 3) Netherlands = I wanted a Dutch character very badly. He already came in the second update, but it seemed like an eternity to me. When he finally arrived, I was disappointed initially because I found that he looked ugly and had a slow and bad power shot... Boy was I wrong! Now he is one of my favorites and I score every single time with his shot. The after effect is genius and I am happy with my country in Head Soccer after all (not everyone can say that). 2) Germany = I think Germany is very cool. You can clearly see that he is the German character in the game, and he doesn't even have an exaggerated German look and a shot that has something to do with his country. Still, the Dark Shot is as good as it is perfect for him and his blue hair and dark look fit Germany very well. When the game was quite new, Germany had something that made him an exception to all other characters, and that was the ability to waste his opponent's power shots away with his own! The first ball was always blocked by the opponent, and that made him activate his power shot, so that the second ball could go through him, right into the goal! D&D Dream took this superpower away from him a few updates later, but that didn't affect much how I look at him. Although I must admit that it made Spain dethrone Germany as my favorite character. 1) Spain = Before I found this Wiki, I was convinced that it was impossible to think that Spain is a bad character... Well, now I know better. I was truly amazed when I heard some people say that they didn't like him. I'm currently always switching between Spain and Germany as my favorite character, and Netherlands is a serious contender as well, but with Spain I am the best and his power shot is one of my favorites in the game. It is so ridiculously effective when you use it near your goal: he shoots three balls, usually all three on target, and - the best part - only one of them has to enter the goal to score! Spain has helped me to unlock a bunch of characters, but up to the present day, none of them came close to Spain. Category:Rankings Category:Favorite Characters Rankings Category:Teh Sweggurboi